Its not what you think
When I say that the ‘dick’ has spoilt my
wine … Its not what you think. I can already see those smirks.
Well, a ‘dick’ is a German germ that causes cloying and
concentration in a wine. As a beginner , I was baffled by wine
language. And even if you drink the best of the wines, hangout
at the best bar in town and have the costliest drink around –
what follows will definitely be an eye-opener. Get set , you are
about to be hurled head first into the wine jargon :
Have you heard of a wine that is ‘green’ ? Red ,White and Rose ,
you know of. What is this ‘green wine’ now ? One of the new
world wines ! A green wine is a term used to describe a young
wine implying a wine that has not been matured enough. Again
‘cat’s pee’ is used to describe the most pungent sorts of
Sauvignon Blanc, a white wine. I know you haven’t tasted cat’s
pee. Nor have I. But we both know what it smells like !
In wine language,… ‘limousin’ is not the famous car – ‘Limo’!
Limousin is the white oak that is used to make wine barrels. A
wine with excellent ‘legs’! A wine with good legs is an
indication of quality and richness of the wine. If a wine
adheres to the sides of the glass it is said to have ‘good
legs’. Did you know that the wines too ‘weep’? A weeping wine is
one with faulty corking. Hence it leaks and is called so.
When I first started studying wines and spirits, I thought ‘big
deal’; I know quite a few wines as well as spirits and their
production in general. What else? What I came across were
fascinating terms like those above and the list is endless :
‘smoky’, ‘punt’, ‘cant’, ‘nose’, ‘foxy’, ‘concord’, ‘lips’…
A ‘cobbler’ is not a shoe-maker. It is an American drink of warm
weather, made from wine or spirits, fresh fruit and
ice-shavings. ‘Bishop’ is a hot drink, consisting of port,
slightly sweetened and simmered with an orange stuck with
cloves. Lemon, ginger, allspice, and cinnamon can also be added
for taste. For making ‘Pope’, champagne is used.
Indeed the study of beverages has changed the way I think. I
know what goes on in your head when you hear the word ‘Condom’!
My first thoughts take me to France. Condom is the commercial
center in the region of Tenarze, which produces excellent
Armagnac Brandy! In the first century England ‘Rum’ was a slang
expression, used similarly to the word ‘cool’ today.
What have ‘Fat Bastard’, Wild Pig’ and Cat’s Pee On A Gooseberry
Bush’ got in common? They are all a part of a new generation of
wine brands with unusual images and sensational names designed
to grab our attention in a world where labels make a
split-second impact on how we choose our wine. The logic is
simple- a wacky label should instantly grab your attention.
After wines over to some cocktails now. Consider the following
Five men called TOM COLLINS, WHITE RUSSIAN, BLACK RUSSIAN,
CHOCOLATE SOLDIER AND NEW YORKER went to a bar and asked for
a SLOE COMFORTABLE SCREW. WHITE LADY MARGARITA heard them
and chose to spend A DAY AT THE BEACH with them in Miami, not
far from BERMUDA TRAINGLE. She was BETWEEN THE SHEETS
when her OLD FASHIONED GODFATHER and DIRTY MOTHER
came from MANHATTAN. All they had to say was: LADY BE
The above paragraph is made up of almost entirely from the names
of sixteen cocktails. So I know you wouldn’t be surprised to
know that I have started calling my girlfriend by the names such
as LADY LUCK, PINK LADY, AMERICAN BEAUTY, WHITE LADY.
And with cricket in air these days it is ‘bat and ball’ all
around. In my field, ‘bat and ball’ is a slang expression for
having whisky after beer!
"CHEERS! SPIKE YOUR DRINKS"