Its not what you think

When I say that the ‘dick’ has spoilt my wine … Its not what you think. I can already see those smirks. Well, a ‘dick’ is a German germ that causes cloying and concentration in a wine. As a beginner , I was baffled by wine language. And even if you drink the best of the wines, hangout at the best bar in town and have the costliest drink around – what follows will definitely be an eye-opener. Get set , you are about to be hurled head first into the wine jargon :

Have you heard of a wine that is ‘green’ ? Red ,White and Rose , you know of. What is this ‘green wine’ now ? One of the new world wines ! A green wine is a term used to describe a young wine implying a wine that has not been matured enough. Again ‘cat’s pee’ is used to describe the most pungent sorts of Sauvignon Blanc, a white wine. I know you haven’t tasted cat’s pee. Nor have I. But we both know what it smells like !

In wine language,… ‘limousin’ is not the famous car – ‘Limo’! Limousin is the white oak that is used to make wine barrels. A wine with excellent ‘legs’! A wine with good legs is an indication of quality and richness of the wine. If a wine adheres to the sides of the glass it is said to have ‘good legs’. Did you know that the wines too ‘weep’? A weeping wine is one with faulty corking. Hence it leaks and is called so.

When I first started studying wines and spirits, I thought ‘big deal’; I know quite a few wines as well as spirits and their production in general. What else? What I came across were fascinating terms like those above and the list is endless : ‘smoky’, ‘punt’, ‘cant’, ‘nose’, ‘foxy’, ‘concord’, ‘lips’…
A ‘cobbler’ is not a shoe-maker. It is an American drink of warm weather, made from wine or spirits, fresh fruit and ice-shavings. ‘Bishop’ is a hot drink, consisting of port, slightly sweetened and simmered with an orange stuck with cloves. Lemon, ginger, allspice, and cinnamon can also be added for taste. For making ‘Pope’, champagne is used.

Indeed the study of beverages has changed the way I think. I know what goes on in your head when you hear the word ‘Condom’! My first thoughts take me to France. Condom is the commercial center in the region of Tenarze, which produces excellent Armagnac Brandy! In the first century England ‘Rum’ was a slang expression, used similarly to the word ‘cool’ today.

What have ‘Fat Bastard’, Wild Pig’ and Cat’s Pee On A Gooseberry Bush’ got in common? They are all a part of a new generation of wine brands with unusual images and sensational names designed to grab our attention in a world where labels make a split-second impact on how we choose our wine. The logic is simple- a wacky label should instantly grab your attention.

After wines over to some cocktails now. Consider the following paragraph:

Five men called TOM COLLINS, WHITE RUSSIAN, BLACK RUSSIAN, CHOCOLATE SOLDIER AND NEW YORKER went to a bar and asked for a SLOE COMFORTABLE SCREW. WHITE LADY MARGARITA heard them and chose to spend A DAY AT THE BEACH with them in Miami, not far from BERMUDA TRAINGLE. She was BETWEEN THE SHEETS when her OLD FASHIONED GODFATHER and DIRTY MOTHER came from MANHATTAN. All they had to say was: LADY BE GOOD.

The above paragraph is made up of almost entirely from the names of sixteen cocktails. So I know you wouldn’t be surprised to know that I have started calling my girlfriend by the names such as LADY LUCK, PINK LADY, AMERICAN BEAUTY, WHITE LADY.

And with cricket in air these days it is ‘bat and ball’ all around. In my field, ‘bat and ball’ is a slang expression for having whisky after beer!

"CHEERS! SPIKE YOUR DRINKS"